on plans and truth

The Lord will work out his plans for my life

for your faithful love O Lord endures forever.

Don’t abandon me

for you made me.

Psalm 138:8, NLT

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I, in my complete and utter humanity, am bothered by the ‘not knowing’. I want to know allthethings and I want to know them NOW. And if I cannot know them, I think about all the possible scenarios that could occur, and then I think I will feel better- because surely I have thought through every angle and there must be some merit to that mental effort.

This is not true. After all my mental acrobatics, I only feel worse. In addition to that, I feel tired. Because in my head I have just lived out 5 different lives and life scenarios and then returned to my current place of reality, and that’s exhausting.

I’m sorry if I sound crazy. Overthinking is a troublesome talent and flaw. I thought I would have more of a grasp on my plans and my future as I journeyed down the path of age and life. To my utter shock, I know less, I have less of an idea what HIS plans are for me, and my overthinking skills could win me an Olympic gold medal in mental gymnastics.

Once again, I return to His Word, my one place of steadfast truth. I settle myself at His feet and I dwell on what I know. I know that I have a hope and a future, and if I look through the lenses of eternity, I can see more clearly what this earth-life is supposed to look like.

As I looked up this verse from the Psalms, I also read from Matthew Henry’s commentary. He says-

“What ground the psalmist builds this confidence upon: Thy mercy, O Lord! endures forever. This he had made very much the matter of his praise (Ps. 13:6), and therefore he could here with more assurance make it the matter of his hope. For, if we give God the glory of his mercy, we may take to ourselves the comfort of it. Our hopes that we shall persevere must be founded, not upon our own strength, for that will fail us, but upon the mercy of God, for that will not fail. It is well pleaded, “Lord, thy mercy endures for ever; let me for ever be a monument of it.”

I am struck by Henry’s focusing in on the psalmists confidence being built upon God’s mercy, which is his kindness and goodness, and this becomes his hope. He also stresses that our own strength will fail us, but God’s wont. And finally, the result of God’s mercy being extended to me, lavished on me, and flowing through me is not for my own gain- it is so that I will be a monument of it, and as a monument of it bring the focus, reflection, praise, and glory back to God.

Suddenly, I am refreshed. I am settled. Abiding in the Word of God has once again grounded me and touched those worrisome places in my spirit.

To Him be the praise, honor, and glory.

 

 

 

 

 

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